i am dead...

as far as they are concerned...
i am dead !!

... and, i return the compliment to them.

as far as they are concerned,
above all these obtuse sentiments...
i am !!
lying withing the deep dark dungeon of self-woven beliefs,
my soul...
waits eternally for them...
to come, see, give a name -
the desires nameless...
the material numb with incessant battering !!

see !!
what they have bestowed unto me -
a moment burning bright...
gave them twinkles,
me.. ashes !!

now i lay -
mummified,
entwined with rolls and rolls of tedious words.
a thought, an idea, a gyration...
never to be realized.

i am dead !!
they say...
i am not one of them...
not a speck of me,
at its atomic level.
they have always said this
since ages.

once i was alive.
like the breeze -
blowing at full...
bearing the scent... the blush...
of dahlias.
on my face.
this face...
you see.. now cyclostyled
with the venomous tooth of life.

i was alive,
like thick, rusty, Grey smoke..
swaying over the heads of -
staggering drunken voices...
trembling on the lips of frosted children,
in the middle of a foggy evening...
on the great plaza perch.

used to go walking in the bushes...
look for the grim rabbits,
hibernating in their own cold fate.
stopped by to shake hands,
with the perpetual concavity,
prevailing on 'their' faces.

the ending one would ask...
cause of the demise.

de facto, i am above those obtuse ideas now...

they have been since ages.

but they do have...
ideas !!!
not in consonance with the silent musings i had.
those urchins, rabbits, children...
all futile to them,
no reason. none logic.

and they rebelled,
they overturned me...

quondam, i returned from the long troddings...
and found -
a new face...
in fact...
no face,
but only some shreds... !!

a bunch of philosophers...
had declared upheaval.
i was banned -

" do not think,
do not smile...
do not smell...

or else... your nose must be pinned to the scriptures !!"

i struggled,
i fluttered...
i... i... i implored on them,
to at least grant me a piece of my own.
but they??
they just chuckled it off...
i was taken away...
and i could just gape at them...
taking me away from myself.

since then.
i lay in this deep dark dungeon...
of self woven resolutions...
ideas... thoughts... assumptions... gyrations...
or whatever their lingua calls it.

i am dead,
they say...
and everybody else believes it.
and i wait for them eternally...
every day !!

to come, see...
and call names to -
my numb knuckles...
which still clamber,
the ladder of consciousness...
though declared brought dead.

i am dead !!
as far as they are concerned.

and... i return the compliment to them.